Your Mom.

If you’ve ever knocked around the smoggy, auto-infested, sandy, sweltering blowtorch of a town that we call home; no doubt you’ve been to El Prieto Canyon. El P is actually quite a gem of a trail, and reminds more than a few of us of some of our old haunts. Albeit all in small doses, this trail is resplendent with rocks, drops, switchbacks, roots, stream crossings, and (gasp) some actual dirt.

Unfortunately, with all of this comes a twisted penalty. Beneath the canopy along the foothills of Angeles National Forest lies Kitty Bait’s natural enemy: Poison Oak. We’re not talking some kind of pussy ragweed ivy; but full-on, radioactively mutated Poison Fucking Oak. Some of us seem to think that the trails proximity to NASA’s Jet Propulsion Lab may hold the answer. Who knows what hell those guys are doing in there, anyway.

Regardless, Kitty Bait has embarked on a region-spanning campaign to change the name of the El Prieto Canyon Trail to “Your Mom.” Not only does it shorten the name by a time-saving 5 syllables, it brings to light many ways to speak of your favorite trail in casual conversation. For example:

  • “Lately, your mom has been dry and rutted out.”
  • “I was riding your mom today I came up on some guys.”
  • “My pals and I saw two female riders today. One on Sunset just before the first fireroad intersection and another on your mom near the picnic bench.”
  • “Your mom could benefit from a little more upkeep.”
  • “Dude, I’ve been riding your mom for like, 6 years.”
  • “I just finished a quick night ride down your mom with some of my old buddies. It was all I could handle!”

See. With some ingenuity and steadfastness, we can elevate Your Mom to the levels of Poison Spider, Gargamel, or Repack. Here’s a video Eric made of Matty railing your mom last fall:

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7 Responses to “Your Mom.”

  1. LOL, you have my vote… everyone loves to ride your mom, she has a lot of miles on her (some of them rougher than others) so she could use a little work but once you get on her you want it to last a while before you get off.

  2. Yes! Typically, your mom is a little faster when there’s more moisture.

  3. Sweet, I love riding your mom and the video of other people riding your mom is great too.

  4. Dude! I love being on your Mom! I can’t get enough of her. I will say she is enjoyed when you do her at a smooth pace. It would be nice if Mom was manicured, gettting a little rash from her lately. Crazy as it sounds, I believe it’s from her flowing juices! I have been real careful not to touch her bush!

  5. El Presidente Says:

    I am fully down with the name change because it avoids all confusion with my name which really should be El Jefe Mas Chingon but that’s another story. I especially love your Mom because I have been on her since I was 9 or so with the Cub Scouts! Your Mom has always been good to me, whether dry or wet and always leaves me short of breath and sometimes with scratches all over.

  6. Frito Lay Says:

    The last time I rode your Mom, I filmed it. During that session of riding her over and over, I got to know her like never before. I discovered lines and curves that enabled me to ride her faster and harder then ever! Mom your the greatest ride in town!

  7. Frito Lay Says:

    Group rides on your Mom are the best! You hit her like a fright train and she never knows whats coming. The best part is she never complains, just lies there and takes it. It”s a good time had by everybody!

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